[ad_1]

Are you in a relationship with a lady and end up asking questions (typically) like “Why did she hurt me?”,”How did I get involved with her?” and “Why does she act that way? Do you feel like your relationship is out of control and that every move you make has the butterfly effect, provoking a hurricane minutes later?

About 6 million people in America have Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), most of them are women. If you are in a relationship with a woman with BPD, their behavior is affecting you. Women with BPD are often described as emotionally or verbally abusive, manipulative, deceitful, invalidating, demanding, lacking in empathy, moody, self-harming (use drugs/alcohol, and/or sexually impulsive), illogical, unfair, self-absorbed, and abusive towards children. Now this is important, you do not have to have all of these to have this disorder. There needs to be enough of an influence of these traits to cause chaos in your life and relationships.

A diagnosis can be given by a trained mental health professional if you decided to know if have this disorder or if you are with a partner that may be affected by these character traits. Like most disorders it is manageable, just like diabetes, however it requires treatment and becoming aware of symptoms and coping skills.

Most Borderlines are a powerful force and provoke fear in a relationship. Woman who love a borderline feel “brainwashed” by their partner’s accusations and criticisms. They will make you feel helpless, isolated, get you to doubt what you know and feel, wear you down, and keep you on your toes (in a scary way!). If you are feeling like this and you want to regain control of your life and make better decisions you should go and talk to someone experienced with the disorder.

In our community of women we are bound to bump into a lady affected by BPD (it affects more women then men remember!). We can not always help who we fall in love with, but we can have the knowledge and power to protect ourselves and the wisdom to walk away. Some loves are not worth the pain, unfortunately, sometimes being healthy means knowing what is good for you and feeling the pain of letting go. If you choose to stay in such a relationship, than knowing what triggers certain emotions in you and your partner can help you to better manage the interaction in your relationship.

Borderline personalities have predictable behavior patterns (it’s all about the pattern!), which stem out of nine traits found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), as well as false beliefs. Understanding how your partner’s emotions and behaviors affect you, how you react and how it in turn effects your partner will give light into the cycle of your relationship. Some patterns to look for:

  • Extreme Projecting- they attribute their own lack of self-worth unto someone else. Saying things like “I am not controlling, you’re!” “Stop screaming at me” and “You all the time deal with me like shit.”
  • Splitting- Everything is black and white or good and dangerous. If you are not with them then you’re towards them, and that may imply conflict!
  • Everything is your fault. It is a pouring of continuous blame and criticism. If you’re saying “I cannot do anything right!” you will have been sucked in.
  • My wants are extra essential. Everything is about them and when you do what they want then every thing might be good for you. They will go above and past for their very own must be met.
  • I win, you lose, or nobody wins! Basically damned should you do and damned should you do not.
  • Keep your distance! No, I imply get a bit of nearer (this one will drive you loopy!) I would like you shut however really feel nugatory and afraid for those who discover out I want you (no this isn’t freaking charming). The love you/ I hate you recreation will put on you down like sandpaper on rope.
  • Verbal Abuse: domination, assaults, abusive expectations, unpredictable responses, denial, and CHAOS. “I’m telling you this to make you a better person!”
  • Emotional Blackmail- they’re masters at manipulation, that is why boundaries are going to be essential in creating a wholesome cycle.

This is simply the floor of the knowledge obtainable to you. There are a variety of assets and knowledge on the market. Unfortunately, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) individuals are at larger danger of psychological well being issues and suicidal conduct, this might be due partly from prejudice, social stress, social disgrace about sexuality, and lack of help. This is why as a group we have to reinforce help, useful resource, and communication amongst ourselves. Some assets out there are: Oz on-line group for LGBT relations with a Borderline Loved One and the e-book collection Stop Walking on Eggshells.

In addition, this isn’t about judging a lady affected by BPD however it’s about making more healthy decisions (hopefully within the pursuit of happiness). The extra information you have got of your surroundings the higher selections could be made for your self and your loved ones. We all have rights, private rights, be sure to take a second to acknowledge them and make selections to not keep away from ache within the short-term however to seek out well being, love and happiness within the long-term.

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

[ad_2]

Source by Alex Karydi