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Do you recognize somebody you assume may be gay or lesbian? Do you assume s/he want to come out to you, however is afraid? Are there indicators you’ll be able to look ahead to to see if this could be true?
The reply is sure. Most gays and lesbians have some extent of problem popping out. The extra necessary the connection is to them, the more durable the approaching out course of tends to be. The purpose for that, in fact, is that there’s extra to lose if the individual rejects them.
So, gays and lesbians will typically “test the waters” first with a purpose to decide how probably acceptance can be for them or to study what hurdles they could face in gaining acceptance from you. Common methods for a gay individual to find out this are merely to convey up gay points or the topic of homosexuality. This could also be as innocuous a query as, “Hey, do you ever watch Ellen on TV?” Or it might be in relation to politics, “What do you think about McCain’s stand on gay marriage?” In opening a dialog with you, your gay good friend can gauge your responses and see how “gay friendly” you’re.
Other indicators would be the dropping of hints. The gay individual will give tiny insights and watch your response to them. They might speak of their “significant other” with out mentioning that individual’s gender. They might speak incessantly about actions they’re doing with their companion, however by no means point out the character of the connection. They might speak about golf equipment they go to. Sometimes the gay individual will say issues like, “You really don’t know me.”
Gays which might be popping out for the primary time may be depressed, nervous and on edge. If somebody has not come out earlier than, they haven’t any approach of figuring out what responses their family and friends are more likely to have. In addition, they haven’t any constructive experiences of popping out to attract on. They might spent inordinate quantities of time on the web wanting up the topic. They might have books associated to gay points and popping out points.
Depending in your response to those hints, your gay pal might or might not select to finish the approaching out course of. Sometimes, the hints are so many and so apparent that popping out is hardly mandatory by the point we get round to it! I dropped so many hints to the primary good friend I got here out to, she simply blatantly requested me someday if I used to be a lesbian!
So, if you recognize somebody you assume could also be gay or lesbian and you are feeling they’re dropping hints or “testing,” the most effective factor you are able to do is to reassure them. Tell your good friend you’re open-minded and that you simply actually do not care if somebody is gay or not. Tell them what issues most to you is how that individual treats you and the way you get alongside. Hopefully, in time, your pal will collect the braveness to be trustworthy and open with you by popping out. It will strengthen your relationship and also you (and s/he) will probably be glad they did it!
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Source by Patricia Cheney